First, if you’re studying Romans, Jan Bonda’s book, The One Purpose of God might be helpful for you. He’s a retired Dutch Reformed pastor (not sure if he’s still alive) who understandably found the doctrine of reprobation and consignment of the majority of mankind to hell to be troubling. PURPOSE is in large part a commentary on the more confusing bits of Romans, including this passage. Just off the top of my head, fwiw:
Paul establishes the election of Israel and agonizes over the loss of His brethren in having (largely) missed out on recognizing their Messiah. They were chosen for adoption (elevation to mature sonship). All this they have, and look where they are now! They don’t even know who Jesus really is – or if they recognized Him, they refused to see. (Is Paul especially speaking of his fellow Pharisees here?)
He gives an example of how God selected from among Abraham’s children. Isaac was chosen for the election, but not Ishmael (also not any of Abraham’s children born after Sarah’s death, to Ketura (apparently the vigor he was given for Isaac lasted! ) Keep in mind the promises God made to Abraham about being a blessing to many nations. Abraham was chosen not INSTEAD of the rest of mankind, but to be a BLESSING to the rest of mankind. He was chosen for a light – and his elect children for a light – to the world; a city set on a hill; a lamp set on a lampstand.
There’s no need here to worry about God hating Esau as a person or because of his deeds. He (that is to say, Esau as a people, as the ethnic group of all his descendents) was “hated” (ie: not chosen) before he was even born. It isn’t that Esau was consigned to eternal reprobation; he just wasn’t chosen to be the conduit for the Messiah, as Jacob was. Jacob was no shining example of do-goodism either, yet God chose him. Why? We aren’t told, but possibly God, seeing the cause and effect chain that would proceed into the future, selected Jacob as the successful candidate based solely on expediency. He had to do an intervention when He wrestled with him and changed his name to Israel, but maybe He would have had to do many interventions with Essau. Just speculation, of course.
We’re told numerous times how God’s mercy never fails, how He is love, how He wills that all people come to Him. So I don’t think this statement should be taken as a general and arbitrary dismissal of the majority of mankind. But Paul is talking about the election here, and specifically about the smaller elect group within the chosen people, Israel: Out of Abraham’s children, He chooses Isaac. Out of Isaac’s children, He chooses Jacob. Out of the nation of Israel under Moses, He also makes His choices. And today, as Paul writes, God has also chosen some from Abraham to be part of His body the church, but He has MOSTLY chosen gentiles to be grafted in, and has broken out the native branches because of their unbelief.
God does show mercy to us when He softens our hearts. It doesn’t follow that He will never show mercy to those He has hardened. He showed mercy to Paul on the road to Damascus, although Paul had previously been a vessel of destruction. I’ve been told that “hardening” can also be interpreted as “strengthening.” A person may have an inclination to do something bad, but not have the courage to carry it out. Perhaps Pharaoh was a malignant person, yet a coward. Might God have given him the courage to do what he really wanted to do – what was in his heart to do? It’s an interesting thought. I’m not qualified to say whether it’s a viable proposition, though.
However we interpret “destruction,” I think it makes sense to take this as it is and not add to it. God has formed some for the purpose of, if you will, an object lesson. “Look at Pharaoh. This is what you should NOT do when encountered with a commandment from God. It won’t get you anywhere good.” The Jews were chosen to demonstrate God’s mercy – but not all of them. Only a remnant from the house of Israel are saved as Paul writes this epistle. I hear him saying, "I can’t complain if God chooses these few as vessels of honor and the others as vessels of dishonor.
It might be worthwhile to point out that a vessel is designed to hold things for distribution. A jug that we fill up with beer, isn’t itself beer. A chamber pot is not itself the thing it contains (human waste). The one is a vessel of honor, the other of dishonor, because this is what they HOLD. It’s their USE. It isn’t what they ARE. What they ARE is vessels of clay (the same sort of clay) made by a potter (the same potter). He makes them all because they’re useful, and He will use them for His purposes. What’s more, a vessel of dishonor isn’t destined always to be a vessel of dishonor, as Paul clearly shows in chapter 11 when he points out that “all Israel will be saved.” There’s something of that hint of vessels of wrath becoming vessels of mercy in the following verses, too:
As Dondi pointed out, the Gentiles who simply run up to Father, on being told they’re welcome to come, are received, while the Jews who believe they must keep the law legalistically and thus EARN their acceptance, fail to obtain the promises. So in this sense, they have become vessels of dishonor, to demonstrate what NOT to do. It doesn’t follow that they will always remain so. It’s important to point out that when Paul talks about election, he’s taking off from the launch pad of Israel’s election. He is NOT talking about Calvinistic style election. That hadn’t been invented yet, and Paul certainly is not in process of inventing it, IMO.
Granted, this is hardly an exhaustive exegesis (nor am I really capable of one) but I hope this helps.
Love, Cindy