Dear Lady Bug –
I’ve been thinking about you and your situation. If you are anticipating bereavement it’s not a time for opening yourself up to the needs of ECT people to voice their unsolicited opinions about where your Dad is. No way. There’s a time for opening up, but there’s a season too for closing down and being looked after. Bereavement is a difficult time for both the comforter and the comforted. People with the best of intentions often get things wrong. There’s a clumsy and universal type of Job’s comforter that will sit with a bereaved person and gabble on about how they felt when they were last bereaved – which just is not appropriate. You don’t need too many of those to try you – bereavement is a difficult enough time anyway. But as for those who might hold forth about their certain knowledge of the wrathful judgment of God upon your love one – a number of things occur to me:
As I’ve said they should consider ‘Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted’ as a proof text.
They should consider that if the parable of the sheep and goats teaches us anything – and it teaches us many things – it also teaches us that there are going to be surprises all round at judgement day for all of us. So none of us have got the right to go around shooting our mouths off about how God will judge.
They should also consider the many times that they have probably lost a loved one who they were unsure dies in the faith and conveniently received a word from the Lord that this person was saved.
And this is true of Christians who believe in ECT never mind Universalist.
People who go around dolling out their verdict no God’s judgement to the bereaved have somehow got things very, very wrong. I like to be understanding, but for this spirit if feel nothing but condemnation (in doing so I’m judging the state of mind/soul that it come from rather than the person who plays Job’s Comforter on behalf of the Accuser). And well I’m reluctant to use the woes against the Pharisees but the words of an English poet seem fitting –
The vision of Christ that thou seest
Is mine’s eternal enemy
Both read the bible day and night
Thou readest black, I readest white
Seeing this false Christ with fury and passion
I’ll make my voice heard across all the nations
Well I’ve got that out of my system now. I really think you need to find a sympathetic pastor –if you haven’t already got one. And you need to take stock of who your real mates are who will love and support you during bereavement rather than condemn the person you mourn for and in this way condemn you when you are at your most vulnerable.
In thoughts and prayers.
Dick