a confessional apologetic introduction ! thankyou attached

[stuartd]

it is well overdue ,please forgive me for remaining slightly anonymous:!: and I shall attempt to keep
it brief [I loath long posts] starting with my father - he started life as a carpenter ,went to bible collage
attained an extremely high mark for his Greek , he entered the ministry and not long after that was crucified by the elders [this is not to dissimilar to my later experience with Christianity] [I'm not being irreverent,he really was a builder !]
I'm not quiet sure where he stands on this issue, when he preached there was usually dead silence even after 5 minutes
of finishing the sermon , I can't remember him ever preaching on ''hell'' , I recently sent him a copy of Mr Talbotts precious book and its taking him quiet some time to send it back to me ?
either way he shall find me challenging if he disagrees , after twenty odd books on this very eye-opening topic couped with my stubbornly persistent personality my mind is well made up !

I was not entirely comfortable with my close association with ''Christianity'' [later on in life] either
when I made a ''decision'' regarding GOD I experienced a vast range of things including beliefs that made me want to run in the opposite direction, things that I found to be distinctively unbiblical and yet very few others seemed to have the same concerns . I was always focused on a range of issues that however important in their own right pale into insignificance compared to this issue !
I never gave ''hell'' a second thought always took it as a given [I was wrong]

the main issue partly related to u.r. is the one I focused on , the one Mr Talbott has so adequately resolved for me - free-will v sovereignty ! calvinism horrified me so I naturally drifted in the opposite direction looking at all the theories in-between [all the while sculpting my carefully crafted GOD] through to the end of [as I refer to it] the spectrum , libertarian free-will theism !
[but just off to the side of the spectrum sitting by itself is the dot of universalism ! where few there be that find it]
so it came as at least some relief when I read his words of ''they [libertarian free-will theists] are essentially correct'' BOY, I thought to myself I can at least scrape some of my dignity off the floor

Christianity endlessly frustrated me and the lunacy of some of it caused me to give into that half right argument of ''GOD will sort us all out in the end'' and so I gave up and simply got on with life failing to realise that even though I had of my own free-will wondered off ,GOD in his sovereignty planned to out-manoeuvred me ! I was in some respects the ultimate exclusivist until it was just me and my carefully crafted GOD !,it was then that my crisis of faith really heated up ! and GOD focused my attention in the direction he wanted me to focus on in the first place .

when the penny dropped so to speak I of my own free-will happily bowed my knee for how could I not after being shown just how magnificent he really is , how perfectly just he really is and will be , for I now understand the notion of nothing being able to separate me from the love of GOD that is in Christ Jesus or more to the point that of having faith of a little child you see I believe he can and will do it, even Satan will be redeemed ! because Abraham believed GOD it was credited to him as ......! so thank-you all my fellow universalists for standing up for the ultimate truth !

please feel free to ask me any questions, I don't bite honestly ! if you would like to know anything else about me all you need to do is see my review of Talbotts book on amazon ,this should help you to see why I remain cynical towards ''Christianity'' look for reviewer SJD and please do me the favour of clicking yes to a helpful review
GOD bless and Merry Christmas !

[TotalVictory]

Overdue, yes, but still welcome nonetheless.
Very interesting read stuartd -- many similarities with my own experience. Several times I smiled in recognition as I read this.
So thanks for sharing...
Very common theme here on this site is this refusal to accept the status quo, the formal tradition etc... Maybe even a stubbornness or something. (Of course we don't have a corner on stubbornness though!! Seems many ECTer's have it as well!!)

I'm particularly interested in what you mean by this ---

until it was just me and my carefully crafted GOD !

That says well (if I hear you properly) what my experience in discovering the God of UR was like... For example, I straight away told God I simply could not respect Him if I was to live in fear (for me, of annihilation...) the rest of my life; that seemed very counter to all the "love talk" in the Bible... So I'd be interested to hear more on this point...

Blessings, and thanks for writing this!!!
It encourages me!!

Bobx3

[JasonPratt]

I can sympathize: my boss was a Jewish carpenter who entered the ministry and not long afterward was crucified by the elders. (Although he didn't go to Bible college anywhere, and I'm not sure how good his Greek was...)




But seriously, nice (if overdue) introduction, Stuart.

[Sherman]

Thanks for the update Stuart and welcome again. And when I preach, sometimes people are very quiet too, and then I go wake them up so we can leave. badabum... I'm glad you have such a precious relationship with your father and our Father.

blessings,
Sherman

[SLJ]

Thanks Stuart! It's always nice to get to know folks here a little better. I wonder what your dad is thinking?

Sonia

[stuartd]

totalvictory - re my carefully crafted GOD , in other words I got to the point of damning everyone else around me until I realised I wasn't saved either [given all the lunacy]
,no matter how correct I was with-in the model I conceived he couldn't be trusted ! eating humble pie as I now am by revealing this, my intellectual pride is now almost a total right off ! how foolish ! , but in my defence I still very much view ''Christianity'' on that spectrum and even thought [if you read my review ?] I knew of some of the believers who believed in u.r.
I always dismissed it as being heresy and found myself thinking ''how odd'' why would they believe in that ? so I was ''eternally'' stuck on that spectrum ! until he directed me on a protracted and painful journey !
Jason you too
sherman I enjoy my own company in fact I can find myself decidedly uncomfortable socially speaking
my dad seems to be similar and keeps to himself we aren't that close not that we disown or dislike each other
p.s. love your sense of humour
SLJ that has me curious also ! but because I like to deeply investigate an issue I also tend to draw a rather deep line in the sand I want to influence others to the same conclusions however poorly I at times have done this perhaps I should stick to doing it in the way I used too - recommend a book or two , you see they hated me for it and actively looked for ways to ''get rid of me'' I felt rejected and despised that also played a part in my reaction against ''Christianity'' but I have done this recently and have had some success but some who now don't return my messages

[stuartd]

I should also include that experientially I was driven toward u.r. as over the years I found myself thinking of all the supposed
non-believers who by their very nature did the things required by the law ! the many who do more good works than [certainly I]
and even a good percentage of Christians . I worked with a gentleman who is Greek orthodox this made me view him in terms of ''the unfairness of him going to hell even given his adherence to a system of belief I couldn't agree with''

[Cindy Skillman]

Thanks for sharing your story, Stuart!

[stuartd]

I must add also that I no longer call myself ''a Christian'' I prefer the term believer partly due to my self-disappointment but also because I can't bring myself to fully agree with and continued discomfort with ''Christianity'' also because some Christians as mad as they may be regarding some beliefs are lovely people [I'm not saying I'm not] ,and so I feel I don't deserve to be in their company so to speak