The Evangelical Universalist Forum

Self Esteem As Vilolence - Richard Beck

As someone who has been diagnosed as schizoaffective and received tremendous healing I have to say that the psychologist Richard Beck is spot on here. Here’s the full article:

Self-Esteem as violence

experimentaltheology.blogspot.com/2013/09/self-esteem-as-violence.html

Self inflation causes you to be violent. When ego is turned inward then you become violent against yourself. All sin stems from ego. The solution is to deflate ego. From humility all forms of virtue spring and flourish. That’s been my experience and that’s why I agree with Dr. Beck. The way you do this is by emptying yourself. A.A. uses the Twelve Steps but meditation works as well. Getting God’s promises into you help as well. The promises secure the future and when this happens you have hope. It’s not about thinking highly of yourself. Jesus never did and He gave God the glory. The glory goes to God. When the false self is peeled away the new creation in Christ blossoms. I’m getting a copy of his book “The Slavery of Death” Thursday where it talks more in depth about the dangers of self-esteem. I can tell you from experience that sin stems from ego. Those who have so called “low self esteem” paradoxically feel that way because of an intense desire to be great. It’s the self that must die. Seek the glory of God. As Andrew Murray has stated in his book called “Humility”

Friend, the only thing that can cure you of the desire for man’s praise or the hurt feelings and anger which come when it is not given, is by only seeking the glory that comes from God. Let the glory of the all-glorious God be everything to you. You will be freed from the glory of men and of self, and be content and glad to be nothing. ~~ Andrew Murray

Rivers of Love

I’m stripping away all that is not me
So I can be who I was meant to be
And live a new life that is truly free
With eyes of my heart open I can see

Accepting the past and future I let go
With a deeper awareness I now know
The river of love can always flow
With the death of the mind and ego

In union with the love of my true self
I feel sweet beauty like I’ve never felt
A wonder, bliss and joy of mental health
Now that I have rivers of eternal wealth

Good post… I am a fan of Richard, but more important, I want to hear what you say. :smiley:

Well, I did write something about it. I also put my poem up about it. What do you think of that for starters? :smiley:

St M you said:

I agree. :smiley:

It’s happened for me in stages and I’m still not perfect. But you have to reach a point where you let go and surrender and let God have control. This is faith. Gaining self knowledge helps also. Aware of myself produced pain and shame and guilt. It’s through prayer and meditation that you can let go of your false self or character defects to where the light of God’s grace shines through. Sometimes it’s ecstatic but not all the time. Peeling away the layers is a process. Quite painful at times. Another thing that has helped me is meditating on God. Contemplating His attributes. There’s a separation that takes place as you come into union with Christ. Just as He emptied Himself and became nothing. For example: There are ways we are like God and ways we are not. Knowing the Creator creature distinctions should produce a measure of humility in us.

God is all-powerful - I am not

God is in control of the universe - I am not

God is self-sufficient - I am not

God is infinite in wisdom and knowledge - I am not

God is perfect - I am not

God in infinitely glorious and beautiful - I am not

I have faith and rely on God. His glory is the beauty of His infinite perfections. The more I glorify God like Jesus did the more glorious I become. The glory of the creature is in humility. God is all powerful. I’m powerless and depend on Him. It’s when the ego takes control we try to exalt ourselves on the level of God. This is what Satan did and since he’s a finite creature it leads to megalomania. It has for me as well. I start seeking my own glory instead of being satisfied in God’s glory. But when I’m empty of self His grace enters in and He receives the glory. In not seeking our glory we receive a glory but it’s not intrinsic. It is derived from God. The paradox is that we keep it by giving it to God. Or as A.A. tells us we keep it by giving it away. In losing ourselves we find ourselves. As an empty vessel His love and beauty flow through.

Faith in God

Gratitude to God

Hope in God

Love God above all (worship)

Fear of God (consequences of evil deeds)

are the things that glorify God. Giving God the credit for His gifts of grace and being thankful for our blessings. This is the heart that overflows with outgoing love. If we mess up we promptly admit our wrongs and make amends if needed. And of course discernment is needed here. If making amends would injure you or others then it’s wise to refrain. Talk to someone and get their advice. And if needed just simply write a letter expressing how you feel making amends and then put the letter in a God box or whatever. Another thing that has helped is writing about these things. Expressing my feelings in writing my life story. Creative arts is real helpful. Poetry is what I like. I try to capture what I’ve experienced in words. Through all this I’ve learned a lot and it’s helped me learn to express myself.

Another thing that happens when you gain humility you:

In everything, love simplicity ~~ Saint Francis de Sales

Genius is the ability to reduce the complicated to the simple. ~ C W Ceran

“Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.”
― Lao Tzu

How many undervalue the power of simplicity! But it is the real key to the heart. William Wordsworth

When we gain humility we will affirm people differently as well. Things like:

I thank God for you

You are a blessing

Thank God! I’m blessed

Good job. Be blessed

Thank you Jesus for this gift

God’s has really gifted you with a talent

I really appreciate that. But God is the one who has blessed me.

Praise God!

Godly affirmations give the glory to God.

When you have faith in God there’s no reason to be violent. For God says:

Let go and let the all powerful all glorious God handle you enemy. When we admit our nothingness before God we can bear being despised. The glory goes to God.

I also wanted to share this from my book called “The Wisdom To Know the Difference” by the psychologist and professor of psychology at the University of Mississippi. It’s under the section called “The Self-Esteem Myth”

The book was published in 2012

The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit: and the virtue opposite to it, in Christian morals, is called Humility. You may remember, when I was talking about sexual morality, I warned you that the center of Christian morals did not lie there. Well, now, we have come to the centre. According to Christian teachers, the essential vice, the utmost evil, is Pride. Unchastity, anger, greed, drunkenness, and all that, are mere fleabites in comparison: it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind. ~~ C.S. Lewis

In order to reach union with the Divine
it is necessary to leave the intellect behind.
One must let go of things and empty oneself
of everything in order to make room for
the flood of Divine illumination.

St John of the Cross ~~ Roman Catholic

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